The Secret Diary of a Piece of Pineapple

Posted by on Sep 23, 2015 | 2 Comments

It's one hell of day for a piece of exotic fruit.

Pond Scum Sound First Blast Against “The Monstrous Regiment of Women”

Posted by on Sep 04, 2014 | 2 Comments

In a provocative statement released today, New Zealand's population of pond scum have united to signal their hatred of the female gender of the species Homo Sapiens.

New Species Of Manke Whale “Of Interest” To Japan’s Whaling Industry

Posted by on Aug 19, 2014 | 3 Comments

Sources in the Japanese whaling industry have confirmed the Manke Whale, a new species recently discovered in New Zealand politics could be “perfect fodder” for the Japanese whale meat market.

Usain Bolt Included In New Zealand Olympic Team

Posted by on Aug 06, 2012 | 3 Comments

New Zealand's Olympic administrative incompetence continues,as Usain Bolt is accidentally added to our list of competitors.

Class Warfare Goes Mainstream

Posted by on Dec 08, 2011 | 1 Comment

The Muppets have been accused of brainwashing a nation's children with Communist propaganda because their new movie features as its villain the chief executive of an oil company.

The Devonport Speculator’s Dummy’s Guide To Armageddon

Posted by on Nov 30, 2011 | 2 Comments

The Devonport Speculator is an avid reader and aficionado of the increasingly surreal nature of the debate around the brewing financial crisis. Here, he provides you with an easy way to explain it, and to impress your friends.

The Reader’s Digest Version Of The Election Meeting

Posted by on Nov 10, 2011 | 1 Comment

For those Devonport Speculator readers who "simply can't be arsed" to read the 2000 word version of the article on the election candidates, here is a condensed version that should take little more than 30 seconds to absorb.

Grey Power Thwarts Mayor Brown’s Cunning Plan to License Superannuitants

Posted by on Nov 07, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Bill Rayner reports on an extraordinary council policy unwittingly unveiled at the last local Devonport Takapuna Board meeting.

Navy To Adopt A Lighter Touch At Ngataringa

Posted by on Nov 04, 2011 | 14 Comments

A simple question on behalf of its readers regarding matters of national security led to The Devonport Speculator being met with a firm hand from Navy interrogators.

Rugby World Cup – Photo Gallery

Posted by on Oct 25, 2011 | Leave a Comment

With NZ now crowned as WORLD CHAMPS, the monkey on NZ's back was facing an uncertain future. The Devonport Speculator can exclusively reveal some new options have come to light.

Devonport Zombie Fears Preceded By Fears Of An “Epidemic Of Lunacy”

Posted by on Oct 21, 2011 | 1 Comment

Long term Speculator readers may recall the extraordinary story The Speculatum uncovered regarding the zombie danger in Devonport. Digging through Devonport's murky past has led to plucky local researcher uncovering an unsavoury story from the past.

French Rugby Team Warn Cocky Kiwi Supporters

Posted by on Oct 18, 2011 | 3 Comments

The French are said to be "put out" by the tone of some of NZ's world-famous gloating.

Monkey On NZ’s Back “Prepared For The Worst”

Posted by on Oct 18, 2011 | 1 Comment

The Devonport Speculator secures an exclusive interview with one of NZ's bete noirs.

The Speculator Too Big To Fail – Official

Posted by on Oct 06, 2011 | 1 Comment

Despite a crippling burden of debt, The Devonport Speculator is to be bailed out by the NZ government.

Psychic Sea Slug Picks All Blacks Over Japan

Posted by on Sep 16, 2011 | 2 Comments

Once again, Devonport's scourge is in the news for the wrong reasons.

Don’t Believe In Magic? Watch This

Posted by on Sep 07, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Don't believe in magic? Take a look at this video, and then write to The Speculator explaining how it is possible.

Drunken Naval Guy Runs Riot Around Devonport

Posted by on Aug 04, 2011 | 1 Comment

History appears to be repeating itself in Devonport. But this time, there's a twist.

When Dogs Eat Cats They Should Be Punished. A Bit

Posted by on Jul 14, 2011 | 2 Comments

For those who think the recent death of a local cat at the paws of a local dog requires justice, The Devonport Speculator has the perfect solution.

Dangerous Drug Will Not Be Banned: Officials

Posted by on Jun 21, 2011 | 1 Comment

The Speculator has learnt that a number of retail outlets in Devonport are selling a dangerous, addictive drug that has been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of New Zealanders.

The Speculator’s Predictions For Devonport

Posted by on Jun 16, 2011 | 1 Comment

Given 2011 is more or less exactly half way through and the world will apparently end in 2012, in the time that we have left The Devonport Speculator thought it might try its hand at a spot of soothsaying.
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