As The Speculator reported last week, the monkey on New Zealand’s back had accepted the almost certain eviction they faced after the RWC final.
And with NZ now crowned as WORLD CHAMPS, their future was looking bleak.
However, despite the setback, the monkey (and his family) now believe they may have found an alternative.
France and its rugby team are being increasingly seen by some in touch with the simian zeitgeist as offering considerable chimp-bearing chump credentials, having scored a hat-trick of failures in the RWC finals of 1987, 1999 and now 2011.
“We’re hopeful” the monkey said, although he wouldn’t be drawn on his plans for the future.
However, he did indulge in some casual speculation; “French team manager Joe Maso certainly shows promise. That woolly hair almost certainly harbours some edible fauna, and he’s a nice guy – and it’s invariably the nice guys who finish last. We’ll certainly be checking him out.”
Having met Joe Maso at an event at Wilson Homes, The Speculator can indeed confirm Mr Maso’s niceness, which was further demonstrated by his decision to allow the All Blacks to wear the black shirt for the final.
Concerned that Mr Maso might find himself chimp-mounted, The Speculator suggested the Welsh team were perhaps equally deserving of a Simian on the shoulders. The monkey was unmoved;
“There’s no point. One of my mates – a Bonobo called Blame, and his wife Responsiblity – have tried many a time to get onto the shoulders of the Welsh. But every time they try, they get shrugged off by this cheeky little monkey called Chip, and they invariably end up having to re-locate onto the ref.”