Psychic Sea Slug Picks All Blacks Over Japan

Posted by on Sep 16, 2011 | 2 Comments

Brenda's gills, indicated here, are a rich source of psychic slime.

Brenda's gills, indicated here, are a rich source of psychic slime.

Devonport’s infamous Pleurobranchea sea slug Brenda has picked the ABs to crush Japan in their World Cup fixture tonight.

And Brenda’s owner Vince Flam is adamant his psychic slime ball is on the money. “There are a lot of punters out there who are saying the Japanese are running into a rich vein of form, and with the possibility of John Kirwan making a surprise appearance on the wing, could prove a real threat to the All Blacks. Well, Brenda is swimming against the tide, and has picked the ABs.”

The world’s sports journalists have descended on Flam’s house in Devonport, in a frantic desire to understand what has led Brenda to this remarkable forecast. Said Grant “Foxy” Knoxy of the Rugby Times “We’re astonished at the foresight this insipid invertebrate has demonstrated in picking NZ to win. We’re going to all have to rewrite our match previews.”

Flam has been selling globules of slime from Brenda’s gill, just below her mantle margin, claiming that the psychic properties of the glob of unparalleled underwater unpleasantness are contained therein. “My slime is apparently famous throughout the solar system” Flam claimed. “I had a man claiming to be from the Moon in here the other day, and he almost cleared me out. Although I have to say, he was already pretty slimy.”

Postscript: The Speculator is devastated to see a similarly themed article  featuring a sheep circulating the national press.

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2 comments

  1. Matilda says:

    By God, she was right as well! It’s mind boggling! Mind you, the Japanese might have just been having an off day.

  2. Patch says:

    Yeah but how does Brenda show you what she picks?

    Patch: That’s a very good question. Apparently the slime is applied to a modified form of litmus paper, which changes to the national colour of the country Brenda believes to be represented by the winning team. – Ed

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