An EarlyBird In The Band Is Worth Two Out Of Their Tree

Posted by on Jan 11, 2011 | 1 Comment

One of the odd things that has happened since donning the cloak, mask and codpiece of The Speculator, is the frequency with which the news has landed in my lap.

Last night was no exception. Turning off the TV after watching a programme on aviarian wildlife, I heard the familiar call of the drunken teen on the street outside. Investigating further, I discovered that sure enough, a gaggle of merry men and their maids Marian were entertaining themselves in the gutter across the road.

Closer inspection revealed that alas, they were not racing Pooh sticks, but appeared to be quaffing some sort of liquid from a large bottle. Given the amount of the liquid that was going down their necks, it seemed unlikely that they were intending to leave any on which to float Pooh sticks ( should that have been their original intention) so I abandoned the window to make a cup of tea.

Returning a few minutes later, I discovered that they had blundered their way across the road and now appeared ensconced in the tree outside my house, happily playing among the branches and high voltage wires so often populated by our local whanau of tui.

Dismayed by this turn of events, I wandered outside to check the young scamps were not endangering themselves and was pleasantly surprised to recognise that among the foliage were a  couple of members of local pop and roll band The Earlybirds!

Relieved that the good ol’ days of rock and roll bad behaviour were clearly not over, I encouraged the tree-based individuals to further explore the literal meaning of their band name, and perhaps attempt to fly to the Sky Tower and back. This they refused to do, and instead satisfied themselves with hanging from the child’s swing we had installed on the tree.

Fervently hoping that perhaps a piano would come flying through our bedroom window, or perhaps one of the band might insist on driving his Rolls Royce over our flowerbed, The Speculady and I hovered with barely contained excitement in the hallway, expecting at any moment to witness the glorious excesses of rock and roll in our front garden!

But it was not to be. As the clock ticked past 10:30pm, the band must have realised that it was getting late, and that the closest they would come to Led Zeppelin would be to fall like one out of the tree, should the E, F, P, R or JD or whatever it was they were imbibing overcome their simian instincts, which it appeared in danger of doing.

Thus dear readers, ad clickers and fervent purchasers of the products advertised on this site, I have yet another newsworthy story to relate to you firsthand.

And the moral of the story is clearly; an Earlybird in the bush will only catch the worm if it’s the one in the bottom of a bottle of tequila.

"How about that Pittosporum"? "Nah, I prefer deciduous."

"How about that Pittosporum"? "Nah, I prefer deciduous."

1 comment

  1. matilda says:

    wee scallywags!

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