Moa Bones On Mt Victoria Are “Roadkill” According To Expert

Posted by on Aug 10, 2010 | Leave a Comment

The extinction of the Moas may have been caused by a much more insidious phenomenon than simply being eaten to death, says expert.

♣ Moa bones found on Mt Victoria have a  sinister origin,  according to archaeologist and recreational walker Bill Shock.

Shock believes the Mt Vic Moa bones are evidence of a fatal collision between a fully grown Moa, and some form of fast-moving, pedaled instrument of transport, “probably a bicycle” he said.

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Remains of an ancient bicycle at the Moa bones site

“We know cyclists as a species haven’t evolved much over the centuries” said Shock, “ and are likely to have used the same selfish, me first  approach for getting around back in 1400 as they do nowadays. It comes as no surprise to me that they were running over these giant, harmless creatures back then, probably for fun.”

Further evidence of a double-wheeled tragedy was uncovered at the site, including a fragment of what Shock claimed was ancient lycra and some sticks and rocks; components of what he said appear to be a primitive form of puncture repair kit.

Shock also postulated a connection between the accident and the extinction of the Moas. “The inter-species competition between Moas and cyclists was clearly intense and the evidence of the outcome is with us today. There are thousands of cyclists, and no Moas. ” The current battle between the cyclist sub-species and the walker should be seen in this context.” Laxma is probably a descendant of these brutes” Shock added.

And Shock had a word of warning for motorists on Lake Rd. “The cycle lanes are just a way to get close. It’s a subterfuge. Those cyclists are stalking you. If they can take down a fully-grown Moa, a motorist would be easy prey. And there’s evidence some of those dead Moas were eaten. All I’m saying is; lock your doors when driving up Lake Rd.”

A typical cyclist bragging about the size of his latest Moa victim

A typical cyclist bragging about the size of his latest Moa victim

A spokesman from the local cyclist organisation CLARA (Cyclists Love and Respect Association) stated “We may have wiped out the Moas, but we also put paid to the dinosaurs. Walkers should be grateful to us that they don’t encounter the odd Allosaurus on their morning constitutional.”

An agressive, early cyclist, probably responsible for millions of Moa deaths.

Tyrannosaurus Rex never stood a chance against this kind of ruthless killing machine

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