Cat Burglar Kidnaps King of The Beasts

Posted by on Nov 12, 2010 | 2 Comments

lion

The lion is ruing his visit to the taxidermist.

William Bond St and nearby roads have become a den of vice in recent days, with several of its houses falling prey to the nefarious activities of a feline resident with a penchant for pinching.

Murray “The Cat” Burglar, pictured below has revitalised his career as one of Devonport’s most notorious knaves. Having established a record several years ago as the paw behind the disappearance of many household items – shoes, toys, balls and a pool table, it was thought Murray had finally called time on these shifty shenanigans.

However, after a brief disappearance of several days from his owner’s house in William Bond St, Murray has returned and with him, so have his megalomaniac tendencies.

The latest victim of this one-cat crime wave is none other than the King of The Beasts himself, pictured left.

If any of The Speculator’s readers who live in the vicinity of William Bond St have recently acquired an inconsolable child, check her/his toy box, for s/he may be missing the soft mane or chewy ears of this toy.

Murray the cat; here cleverly disguised as a bowl of fruit.

Murray the cat; here cleverly disguised as a bowl of fruit.

Contact The Speculator for more information at info@speculator.co.nz

If you see this criminal in the street, he should be approached and have his ears ruffled.


2 comments

  1. mike says:

    unaccustomed as i am to appearing in public your ill-informed reporting about my brother Murray has driven me to speak out on his behalf. Although a little misguided and over-enthusiastic since taking up his SPCA membership he is without guile or malevolence. Apart from the few days he went missing Murray and I have been inseparable for over 5 years and i could not bear to think that something untoward might happen to him because of such libelous comments.

  2. murray says:

    A mischievous piece of reporting that misrepresents my honourable intentions. Note please that this poor creature, a distant relation of mine, has, judging by the band aids on his body, been subject to some considerable abuse at the hands of his owner. I have simply assisted in his rescue to my own hospitable abode.

    Murray, you old wag; don’t think for a moment that The Speculator is going to fall for that kind of nonsense. The word on the street is that the bites under those band aids match YOUR dental records. And we also know you bit off his tail. And ate it. – Ed

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