A Wonderful View Of The Poo

Posted by on Sep 22, 2010 | 2 Comments

Well done lads

Well done lads! We're proud of you too!

The Speculator is delighted to hear that the North Shore City Council has completed its largest ever capital works project: a huge pipe that shifts our poo from the treatment works far, far, far out into the ocean.

What’s even more interesting is that the Council has commissioned a memorial seat to mark the spot this colossal concrete colon departs our shore for the no longer not so blue depths of the Rangitoto Channel.

Moreover, the council is so proud of this somewhat unique toilet seat, that it even had some of its top dogs pose for photos next to it (see photo with this article).

If this doesn’t have you suppressing a titter, perhaps the fact that the seat – completed with concrete segments “similar” to those used in the tunnel – has a plaque on it which states “What Lies Beneath?”  – will. What indeed?

The Speculator applauds the initiative’s primary purpose; to clean up our beaches by thoughtfully providing the residents of Rangitoto Channel with a whole new food source; but a memorial seat over a sewage outflow? Which then goes out of its way to point out that under the seat where you doff your shoes is a fast flowing river of poos? I’m missing the joke right?

My final concern is this; have we made sure that those nasty sea slugs don’t fancy a diet of treated poo, become enormous and invade our homes, daring us to lick or snuffle or touch their ghastly bodies which ooze with killer toxins, while they tromp about the village, getting all the best seats in the restaurants and buying the best waterfront houses?

Sorry, I think I’ll go and lie down. It’s all a bit too surreal.

And I’m not even going to think about asking how much the seat cost.


  1. Buffy says:

    I looked in vain for the little black spot that denotes a LOL story – don’t tell me it’s not….?

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